Today I was an out patient to have a mediport placed in my chest so that the chemo treatment can flow easily. I say this to tell you as I laid on the gurney in the prep room , I began to feel the real sensation that goes along with laying there. I must admit I didn't like it.You see as I have walked this journey out it seems surreal. I can only explain it as a out of body experience. I have the physical scars , but my spirit just keeps rising to the occasion and keeping me in perfect peace. I was laying in the hall on the gurney alone and a lady walked passed, as they wheeled her husband along side me she said" I never would have thought you were the patient when you walked in." I smiled at her and the nurse said to her as they passed "you saw her when she came in?" and as I ear hustled (HEY I'M A MOM that's what we do) .She faintly stated "she was smiling when she came in.... "
As I was rolled to my destination I saw this really thin table and I was thinking who is suppose to lay on that with ALL A DIS???? The people were so nice they explained the procedure , gave me warm blankets then told me to get on this table that was the size of a balance beam ( OK I'm exaggerating but not much!!!) Now for those who know me , know I speak my mind with limited filtration, lol. I had to ask the nurse "what do you all do with really Fluffy patients?? " "she smiled and said we make it work" .
They were just about to sedate me and my over 40 bladder kicked in all of a sudden, All I could think is, if I don't go before they sedate me this will not end pretty. I had to do a dismount off the balance beam and I nailed it, I could have been in the Olympics !! lol. I made it back to the table and the process began. I started to think hmmmm Is this how it is on Greys Anatomy ?? the sedative was kicking in. Then The song by Fred Hammond played in my head " Clean Heart" Its so awesome that in those quiet times what's most dear to you floods your heart and mind, and it makes the process go smoothly ,kinda.First I could here them struggling to get the sedative in the IV . I was thinking Ya'll come on!!! Well then suture knot came out as the tried to sew the mediport under my skin so instead they GLUED me back together , honestly they used glue to put me back together like Humpty Dumpty on this balance beam (Im just saying). Now keep in mind I'm loopy, but I can hear when something isn't going right. I wanted to laugh, because I hear "awe shoot the knot came a loose." REALLY??? lol and she didn't use her inside voice.
.I got dressed and my Auntie drove me home but as we drove we called my mom at work and she was elated my Auntie was there, she proceeds to tell me of a young lady she just met who has just Survived this journey. My mom shows her my picture and she said I was glowing. Mind you I'm loopy and I think maybe I'm glowing because I have had so much radioactive shots within this last week, I'M RADIOACTIVE!!!! I might be able to glow in the dark, that would be soooo cool. I get home and my oldest shows up at the same time. I kiss my Auntie Good bye . I get in the house and I'm talking to my oldest son he says" They gave you drugs ? " lol YEPPER . H E SAID GO SIT DOWN. I think that 21 yr old is having to much fun telling me what to do!! I guess he wasn't amused at his loopy mom. I get my Pj's on and get on the couch and my cover smells like Captain Crunch, What an awesome smell to fall asleep too.......
Let Keep walking ......
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