A Lovely Day!!!!!

Just one look at you and the worlds alright with me. Just one look at you and I know its gonna be  a Lovely DAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
I was having a moment the other day after the doctor told me I was going to have to get Chemo therapy. I got into my feelings ( which I do every time I visit the doctor lately. I thought I was prepared to hear it, then that moment arrives ; it hits you like a punch in the gut and you want to fall off the table and nausea sets in at the same time. I was informed of a genetic test I need to take  to make sure I don't have the mutated gene which can cause the cancer to come back  in my breast or ovaries... blah blah blah........  OK so speaking about the Doctors visit my Auntie Jean came i
nto town and graciously  escorted me to  my appointment. I asked if she could come into the room for the the post exam. I have realized lately I go numb when they go beyond " Hello". So the NP comes in and tells me her job is to keep me alive til I'm 100 yrs old. Cool I'm all for that. My Aunt interrupts the NP to tell her well  Jewish people are to live til 120yrs ummmmmmm Auntie we aren't Jewish , We might come from the Ebu tribe not the Hebrew tribe!!!. The  look on the NP's face is priceless, my family is funny.  After I go Numb from the information and feel as if In going to vomit from TMI. We leave, I get in the car and No I'm not OK. I need my 15 mins to cry like a baby then I will get over it, well this time it lasted 15mins then when I got home alone and I took 10 more mins to cry, I wanted to suck it up but I couldn't.... The thoughts that brought me to intense tears were my boys. My mom and Auntie explained they aren't babies anymore and to stop looking at them as little boys. This process will a guide them to become compassionate men. The women that they will marry, they will know how to treat them and be compassionate to them when the are weak. That was the moment  my tears dried up and I came to a calm place. See at one point I was crying about my boys having to go through it all ,  and if I had a mate , a husband, man(boy friend) friend somebody to help the boys through it I would feel better. ( Now don't get me wrong my JESUS ONLY friends and Fam, I know God Got this !!!!!!! RELAX!!! I was being human for a moment OKAY? OK!!).

   The day progressed on and I thought about the extended pity party I had and realized hmmmmmmmmm, if I was in a relationship and my "HIM" came home and asked me" had I been on the couch all day?" or Asked me" What did I do all day? " or say "So You haven't done anything today?" I realized I would break up with him on the spot, and  put him out!!!!(I dont argue) Which would make me single anyway lol. Soooooooo  my time alone is God ordained and well deserved. See God knows that this Lady Pit bull does bite so grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. lol
Lets keep walking............

His ways are not Our ways,AND His thoughts are not Our thoughts

I sit and giggle at the things I ask God for , or the silent whispers I say in my mind and how they must sound to him. I have gotten into those deep moments and cried out "Lord Use Me!!!!" Only to find out the way I meant it was : "Lord use me but , with conditions like, " I don't want anything major to happen to me or my family or people really close to me" and He says OK "Here walk through this test so that others can see your faith increase and I will get all of the Glory and praise." "UMMMMMM that's not what I meant God." OK let me try this again. "I think I want my boobs done. Lord help me save up enough money so that I can pull these working sand bags up. " God goes I will give you the desires if your heart.  I have a lump ? What I can get a mastectomy or a lumpectomy? UMMMMMMMM I really don't want my boobs done that bad. They can keep sleeping. Here I go again" Lord I am over it I'm not having anymore kids I'm having a hysterectomy!!!!! Lets set the date. ( silent prayer :Lord I don't want to do anything outside of your will, so lets make this happen.) UMMMMMMMMM what do you mean we have to cancel the surgery :??? AWE LAWD REALLY????? I have been told in the past by girlfriends I have a cell phone to God while others have a land line , I have also been told Melanie "Watch your mouth ,You know God moves quick." God has a serious sense of humor. I was talking to my cousin and we were saying don't pray for strength or patience. I know your looking at this strange, but as you can see  God is funny .. It is written patience bringth about tribulation so I shore won't ask for that, and strength I can only imagine that road. SO the next time you pray be ready for what comes your way!!!!!! He is so Awesome .. People look at God as this Big Mean I'm gonna get you sucka kinda presence. When in reality when you look around Laughter is like medicine to our bodies and souls. Love makes us grow... When you can't stand any more Kneel.. He has a perfect plan for your life....... Lets keep walking.....