UnComfortable Zone

Im walking out my journey in private publicly. Now  you may be saying how is that possible? Well here is what I mean. The only way my journey could be known is if I tell it. I choose to tell it through this blog, but not every thing can be written. Nor should everything be written  or disclosed, but as I walk out this journey I'm asking you to walk with me.

Its 6:51 am and its my private time with Jesus. I read some scriptures and pray, then there are those days where I don't follow a routine because the Holy spirit tells me to take another direction. Today is one of those days.   I have taken each day as they come, but my routine is no longer comfortable. What am I speaking about? Its hard to explain. Have you ever been in a place where the pressure from inside wants to explode to the outside and everything gets more and more intense with every step you take. You know something is going on in the spirit realm, but all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. Yet you have no idea what direction you are walking in. Your in an uncomfortable zone!!!! How awesome is that space? its scary because you don't know where you are going , but you know something great is coming down the pipe line. You know this is your season to reap what you have sown. God is Working "it" out . I know I sound like I'm babbling on but only if I could explain what is going on in this intimate space I share with him.

I am still writing this thesis and it is due very , very , very soon and my comfort zone has been shifted. I have never taken this long to write a paper, but I had to clean out my house (my residence ) before I could continue to write. I wasn't even able to breath  until my Auntie came and helped me remove unwanted things. Do you see how it correlates to out spiritual lives? We cant clean out our stuff by ourselves and we become uncomfortable in that old clutter and mess that at one time didn't bother us. I am being challenged  and stretched and I can now breath in that clutter free space. How does clutter affect us mentally? physically? and emotionally? Clean out the clutter ! The familiar place isn't always a good place and the uncomfortable zone its bad by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm going to an event that is speaking to women about living a purpose driven life and the organization is called Comfort Zone for Women, but its a place to help women come out of their comfort zone. Stretching, reaching and expanding themselves. No longer defining themselves as the mother of or the wife of , but being whom They were purposed to be beyond those titles!!! Lets keep walking and don't forget to live and breath as we walk this out………..

Withholding nothing

Have you ever encountered a time or times in your life when you feel that your secret places need to be exposed, but who could you trust with those place? Can you tell a person who is really close ? possibly , but it will no longer be a secret when you tell another person. I have come to a place where I need my secret places to be exposed and my vulnerability to be cradled with love. How can I do that with holding nothing? I bow down to my most high God and I surrender all to you! With holding .

I'm in a place of feeling alone, but I know I'm not alone. I write funny true to life stories, but there are times I stray from the one thing that keeps me grounded. Life happens and time flies by and it becomes frustrating, because at my own strength I fail every time.  When I stop and take large breathes; in and out, I begin to capture the essences of the very being that  I owe everything to, My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. While life is happening I can hear him speak to my heart, giving me his Holy word. Like a tornado I'm in a whirlwind, yet he places me in the eye of the storm to show me peace(withholding nothing).

I had forgotten to walk in faith and life was becoming over whelming to me.Where is my trust in him, where is my patience in his promise.  I was running from here to there trying to fill this thing within me as I hid my secret places from my own self. I realized I had stopped living. I was going day to day, work , home , work  home sometimes hanging out with the girls,but I couldn't tell them much of what I was going through and my conversation became superficial. The view of the world had begun to ring on every side of me. Why are you waiting til your married, get a friend , buy a toy!!!, so once you finish school then what? Your how old ?   Are you sitting for the CPA exam? Oh your move was lateral ? You want to marry?why? you love who? why? I don't have to answer any of these questions, why? because I had to remember my life is not my own. I must refocus and walk by faith, listen as he speaks and I've seen his work before I don't have to know the plan. Sovereign God

Withholding nothing with in my secret place

, I can breathe , Big Sigh.
I again Lord Surrender all to you, with holding nothing.


This ring represents the promises of God on my life
Chocolate diamond unique like me with lots of beautiful baguettes all around representing the promises I will see and some I may never see like Abraham. as they cascade down the band representing a complete circle of infinity.Promises to my children, my children's children and beyond…. Lets keep walking while adding Living to the plan…...

Family make me crazy but I LOVE them …..

Sunday March 9th  one of the babies in my family was dedicated back to the Lord. I love this part because we realize they are on loan to us , we are just stewards over them so that they can walk in there purpose. Well my family will get together if someone screws in a light bulb , we will find any reason to get together. We usually gather at Kimmie's house and just hang out.

Well after this precious lil person was dedicated ( AVA DO ) we gathered together bringing food. You know a gathering isnt complete without Food. How awesome is it when food brings us together and my family members are pretty healthy eaters well not that day!!!! the sherbet  punch, bacon, sausage, sticky buns , brownies, salad, veggie lasagna,cake, egg muffins filled with broccoli, grape juice, orange  juice, champagne, wine , cucumber water …… We feasted and everyone  in the fam wasn't there, yet we still filled every seat. Well after everyone was full and satisfied the games begun!!!!! what game was that? All this single ladies please stand up!!! I only thought other cultures did this ,but not the African American culture. We create traditions and our new one is it lets single out who's single!!!! Oh Mel that's you ,another family event and your solo.

Well if it only  stopped there, It was light heart and funny, but what many don't understand at the appointed time whether I never leave my house, if I'm walking into a store, or even just driving down the street, he will find me. All I hear is well you wont meet him if your in the house, how do you know? He can be delivering a package to my door!! I KNOW MY FAMILY LOVES ME, but I'm not going to let just anyone in my space. When you meet someone it doesn't take all day to know whether they will waste your time or not. I'm not from the fake it generation, I'm from the what you see is what you get generation and its scary lol.

I was told to have as many male friends as female friends, well that not an easy thing to do. How many single straight men just want to be your friend? (maybe after he has smashed it and you decide  mutually naw lets just be friends). Plus if your a red hot chili pepper surrounding yourself with toys will tempt you(me ) to play with at least one(I'm just sayin) . So people  Some single people are willing to wait. PS my sister in love was giving me love advice. UMMMM I know who she married ………… ,Lets walk forward……...

Refocus, back on my journey

Hi Everyone, We are in the month of march already!!! can you believe it? Well I didn't do anything I needed to do in February I decided to take the month off and just have fun, stepping out of my comfort zone and letting my hair down. I joined a dating website (disaster gone wild). How ironic the people I met in February were left  in February. All communication ceased as of Feb 28 2014. I moved to a new position at work which requires me to come into the office. That's a huge leap after, working 4 years at home  and it was a lateral move. The funny part with that is when people ask was that a promotion? and I say no it was a lateral move, they get this tone in their voice like awe you poor thing. Why do people do that? Yes more money would be awesome, but sometime the experience becomes priceless. People please stop doing that !!!!!!!!!

I have to get back to finishing my thesis so that I can complete this degree, but before I began writing that, I had to post this. While on the dating site I was pinged by about 20 vanilla brotha's ,and only 5 mocha brothas. The weeding process wasn't hard, Ladies if you want to see if a guy is going to stay or leave tell him your not going to have sex til your married. Move your ear from the phone because the click might be a little loud . hahahahhhhahahahhhaa.

I was up front and honest and I found out that's not wanted either, so I'm going to go back to what I originally said I was going to do in 2014 , just focus on me and walk out my journey and enjoy this walk. Yeah this wasn't my normal funny blog, but I was disappointed on the results. Why because in all of the  pings I gave a mocha brotha a chance and he was the worst one of them all . I was so disappointed . God said we are to help babies and fools and he wasn't a baby. I haven't dated a mocha in 14 yrs and my heart sank at his actions. Which proves my point, keep your virtue and you lose nothing .  When the Vanilla brothas pinged me I had to ask had they dated sistas before? and the consensus was no. So I ran into a girl friend and  told her my experience and she said she was encountering the same thing?? How crazy is that then she mentioned "SCANDAL" the television show. Well big ups to Kerri Washington and Shondra Rimes lol because  the Hot Chocolate Spice is on the radar lol. We have always been on the map now in our 15 mins of fame we are on the radar. Are the Vanilla Brothas  curious? YES they have always been , but not brave enough to step up. They felt the boardroom experience would be compromised. I will tell the world we are not the one tooth rag on the head wearing "who da whats" you see on television interviews. We are  EXTREMELY INTELLIGENT, EXTREMELY SEX, EXTREMELY ARTICULATE AND EXTREMELY LOYAL. OUR STOCK PRICES HAVE GONE UP, IN THE BOARDROOM TO THE BEDROOM!!! SO YOU BETTER INVEST!!! Lets keep walking……………..