You may have wondered why did I choose the name the blog natural since 40, Well there is a reason. I am not your average bear or your average female. No I'm not calling females bears but we can be at times mess with one of our babies!!!!!!! I had tried numerous times to go natural but just didn't know how to make it cute. I don't like going to the hair dresser NEVER EVER DID. I did it because being a teenager and 20, 30's it just wasn't in style to be natural. I had one girlfriend who had locks, but she was and still is mother nature. No meat make your own ointments!!! she was so ahead of her time, little did she nor did I know we would influence each other's life. I served the Lord and paid tithes and she was holistic on every level. Well I tried it again in my later 30's and because I was in a relationship I cared about what he liked and you could see HE DIDN'T LIKE IT!!!!!. So I got another relaxer and just watched it eat away at my hair as well as my soul. This wasn't me!! I took the buy out in August 2007, that year my income had totaled to $100,000!!!!! Well I haven't seen that amount since!! My relationship of 6yrs soon after ended and as miserable as I was in it I couldn't walk away (remember the pit bull clamp down that sometimes bit me in the booty. ) I had went from making $100,000 in 2007 to $20,000 in 2008. I turned 40 yrs old November of 2010 and said enough is enough. I couldn't afford to keep getting relaxer, literally couldn't afford it(no money) even if they were home relaxers. I decided I was not going to have my scalp burn one more day for anyone. If you don't like me and my natural knots oh well. Well needless to say the brotha's in the city where I live are a little slow to the natural. Not all! but most, I heard crickets from them lol. See my self worth was connected to my appearance which in turn was connected to my spending which affected my finances and my weight!!!!! Not anymore. I personally now like the sound of crickets lol.
I have days that I reflect on when I made $60,000 to $70,000 dollars a year, and I look at what I made before I took that job, and after I left that job. I look to see when I was at my most happiest. Was I happy making that kind of money, to be honest with you I don't remember because I was working so much that its just a blur. Things my sons bring up I barely remember, because I was working night shifts and swing shifts. They were little guys and I was sleep deprived. Do I miss the money? "HECK YEAH!!!" Do I miss the job? NO,NO NO. I know there is a happy medium and I'm in route to find it. Please don't get me wrong I was blessed to purchase a home for my boys to call theirs as well as take vacations and buy them any and everything their hearts desired. Sounds wonderful and FRIVOLOUS!!!!!!.
Why did I walk away from it all? because I was dying inside. I needed to stimulate my brain and I wasn't growing. My relationship was falling apart and frustrating. I was the mean mommy lady to my boys. Little did I know my steps were being ordered by my heavenly and Almighty father.
I remember being a little girl around 4years old and asking my grandmother did I have a bank account? She told my mom and I could only imagine what she was thinking. See my mom as I explained before raised me and my brother Mike by herself. My father found another love (drugs) and Mommy wasn't having it. She had worked to hard to get her LPN license and told him adios amigo. I didn't now we were struggling financially , I had enough toys to fill 2 houses so in my little head I figured I should have a bank account. lol. Lets continue to walk .........
No comments:
Post a Comment